


So tell me when you’re gonna let me in

by definitelythor (yourlionheartx)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: Bad coming out experience, Christmas, Fate, Getting Together, Hitchhiker AU, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 21:51:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1363003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourlionheartx/pseuds/definitelythor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Dan’s kicked out of his family home at Christmas, he picks up a hitchhiker on the way to York, and at first he wonders if he’s made a huge mistake. But Phil’s actually kind of perfect, and maybe fate does exist after all</p>
            </blockquote>





	So tell me when you’re gonna let me in

“ _Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. You just work. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something_.”  
\- [unknown](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#)  
  
  
  
Dan closes his eyes for a second and breathes out, watching the steam curl in front of him. He feels sick still, he’s not sure if that’s going to go away. Everything hurts and he isn’t sure what he expected, like he could tell all at Christmas and his parents would throw aside everything with smiles, singing _deck the halls_ as they pulled him close for a hug. Dan doesn’t really know where to go now, he has some [internet](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) friends, but it’s fucking Christmas. He can’t crash at someone’s house now.  
  
He wants to kick something, but there are people watching him, probably wondering why he’s filled his tank and is now just standing here trying not to cry before he goes to pay. He blinks hard and bites his lip against the tears, taking another breath. It’s a four hour drive back to uni. It’s all fine, whatever, Christmas alone isn’t that much different from Christmas with his family to be honest.   
  
He buys some water and a sandwich and pays for his petrol before walking back out into the cold, and he watches as a snowflake drifts past his face. When Dan was younger snow was amazing, it meant snow men and angels and snowball fights with his little brother, but now it means driving in the snow and being cold and he just lets out a frustrated huff of breath. It’s two in the afternoon when Dan starts driving again.   
  
  
  
By the time he gets on the M40 it’s snowing so hard he can barely see in front of him. He narrows his eyes, muttering under his breath and then reaching to skip the Christmassy song that comes on his mix CD. Through the snow he thinks he can see someone walking along the side of the road, and as he gets closer he can definitely make out the silhouette of a person with his thumb sticking out. A hitchhiker the day before Chistmas Eve. Dan’s seen far too many horror stories for this shit. He presses his foot down on the pedal.   
  
It’s not until he’s driven past, that Dan looks in his rear view mirror and he can feel guilt creep up over him. The guy is shaking, his arms crossed around his body, and he’s only wearing a short sleeved shirt for gods sake. He’s also, from what Dan can make out, really, really attractive and Dan’s having a shitty day anyway, so it doesn’t really even matter if this guy is a serial killer. Things can’t get much worse. He checks behind him to make sure no one’s coming before reversing back and pulling in.   
  
He winds down his window and the mans face lights up into a pretty smile. He shakes his hair from his blue eyes. “Hi, I’m um - going to Manchester.” His teeth are chattering.

Dan isn’t sure why he says it, probably because he doesn’t want to go back to York at all, he hates his uni halls, he doesn’t want go back and spend [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) on his own, he wants to just drive around with this guy and pretend his life isn’t going to hell, so he nods his head. “Me too. Get in. I have the heating on.”  
  
The look of gratitude on the man’s face is undescribable and Dan reaches over to unlock the passenger door and let him in. “Thank you, thank you so much. I have a bit of [money](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) for petrol and I’ll get you something to eat when we stop. I thought I was going to have to walk oh my god, you’re a life saver.”  
  
"It’s fine. I don’t think I’d ever have forgiven myself if I’d just driven past you. I mean, it’s [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) isn’t it," Dan says.  
  
"Well, thank you. I appreciate this so much. I’m Phil," the stranger says, holding out his hand.   
  
"Oh right, yeah. I’m Dan." They shake hands and Phil smiles at him again, despite the fact Dan can still hear the sound of his teeth knocking over the sound of his car stereo. He unbuckles his seatbelt and pulls off his jumper, passing it to Phil, who’s shaking snow out of his hair.   
  
"Are you sure? Won’t _you_ be cold?” Phil asks.  
  
"It’s warm in here. You’re turning blue for Christs sake, put it on."  
  
Phil smiles again and pulls the jumper over his head. It’s a little small on him maybe, but they’re basically the same size. “I’m glad it was you who pulled over,” Phil says. “I’ve really lucked out.”  
  
Dan doesn’t even bother hiding the way his eyes move over Phil, now he’s in clear view and Dan _can_ look. Phil’s a pretty good view really, jet black, definitely dyed hair falling over one of his eyes every time he flicks it back, and fucking ridiculous shoulders. His cheeks are flushed pink from the cold. Dan’s jumper looks good on him, but for the first time since leaving his house, Dan wishes he had bothered to grab more [clothes](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) so he had more to offer. Phil’s still shaking and Dan reaches to turn up the heating a bit.   
  
He waits until Phil’s got his seat belt on and then pulls back out and continues driving. In his peripheral vision, he sees Phil lean his head against the window   
  
"So - um, are you studying at Oxford?" Dan asks, seeing as he’s currently driving through Oxford it seems to make sense but Phil shakes his head.   
  
"I was staying with a friend, I actually graduated three years ago."   
  
"Oh." Dan glances at Phil again. "You look younger than that."  
  
"Why thank you Dan. I’m taking that as a compliment."  
  
Dan tries to concentrate on driving, feeling Phil’s eyes on him. “What’s your star [sign](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#), Dan?” Phil asks suddenly.  
  
"Um - I’m a Gemini."  
  
"Oh cool, air [sign](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#). That’s good." Phil goes quiet again, and Dan narrows his eyes, not sure what Phil means.   
  
"What do you mean, why’s it good?" Dan’s hand brushes Phil’s thigh as he changes gear and he feels Phil shift and sit up straighter.  
  
"Well, basically we’re a perfect match - like compatible and stuff, we could date," Phil says with a smile playing on his lips. He pokes out his tongue when Dan starts laughing.   
  
"I’ve just met you, and to be honest, I really don’t believe in star signs and shit, sorry," Dan says.   
  
Phil’s quiet for a moment, and Dan wonders if he’s offended him and if the rest of the journey will be in awkward silence. He’s about to stumble over an apology, but then he sees Phil shrug. “Fair enough. Gemini’s are very logical thinkers so.” Phil smiles to himself and Dan just lifts an eyebrow, shaking his head.  
  
"Are you at university, Dan?" Phil asks, and Dan’s already loving how his name sounds on Phil’s lips.  
  
"Yeah, I am. I’m graduating next year."  
  
"Let me guess what you’re studying - English Lit?" Phil asks. Dan shakes his head and Phil hums, his eyes flickering over Dan. "Something arty, I don’t know like photography?"  
  
"I’m not doing anything arty or wordy. Or at all interesting, to be honest."  
  
"Why are you doing it if you don’t find it interesting?" Phil asks, and he sounds genuinely confused.   
  
Dan huffs out a laugh, rolling his eyes. “To make my parents happy. To make them actually love me or something, which is ridiculous because it’s never going to happen”  
  
"Is that why you’re driving the wrong way the day before [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) eve?" Phil asks, his voice is soft but Dan’s nails still cut into the steering wheel.   
  
"How do you know that?" he asks.  
  
"Your accent. I grew up in Manchester and no one sounds like you, no one who’s lived up North for more than a few years sounds like you."  
  
"I got kicked out," Dan says. He might as well be honest, he’ll probably never see Phil again after this drive.  
  
"At [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#)? That’s really shit, I’m sorry that happened. Have you got friends to stay with?"   
  
Dan nods his head, so Phil doesn’t worry and he’s glad Phil doesn’t ask why he was kicked out. “I’m studying Law,” he says quietly.   
  
"That was my next guess."  
  
**  
  
"What’s your story?" Dan asks. They’ve been in comfortable silence for a few minutes, and Phil’s humming along to Dan’s CD, singing bits of lyrics wrong in a way that would usually irritate Dan, but is just making him smile now.   
  
"From the beginning?"  
  
Dan doesn’t take his eyes off the road. “I mean, why were you trying to hitch a ride two days before [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) in the snow - if you don’t mind me asking. I mean, I don’t wanna be invasive.”  
  
"I broke up with my boyfriend on the motorway, which was intelligent, and he made me get out of his car and told me to walk to Manchester."  
  
"Oh. Sorry." Dan’s eyes move over to Phil again, who’s now looking out the window, and Dan feels a bit bad for bringing it up but Phil just shrugs.   
  
"It’s okay. _I_ broke up with him, and it was you know how it is, a long time coming. We’d been falling out of love for a while,” Phil says.   
  
Dan doesn’t know how it is, not first hand at least, but he nods along anyway. “”Has he got all your stuff, like [clothes](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) and things?”  
  
Phil nods and then laughs. “He has my [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) presents for my family, oh my God what a mess.”   
  
Dan’s not really sure what to say to that, he thinks about his neatly wrapped and tyed with a bow [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) presents under his parents tree and [wrinkles](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) his nose because they don’t deserve the thought he put into them.   
  
"Play the license plate game with me," Phil says.   
  
"I don’t know what that is, Phil."  
  
"You had a sheltered childhood. Just make a sentence out of the [license plates](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) you see - I’ll go first." Phil looks out of the window and starts thinking, and Dan isn’t sure if he can even focus on anything in this snow, especially without crashing into it, so he’s not sure how good he’ll be at this game.   
  
"Beyonce has fourteen pink baby dogs," Phil says suddenly and Dan can’t help but let out a loud laugh. Phil laughs too, but he’s looking at Dan like he’s waiting g for his input, and Dan feels like a kid in class who’s been pointed at even though his hand wasn’t raised. It’s childish, he doesn’t want to look stupid.  
  
"I’m not good at that kind of thing," he mutters.  
  
"At what kind of thing? It doesn’t really require much skill."  
  
"I have to keep my eyes on the road."  
  
Phil nods. “Okay, fine.”   
  
Dan listens has Phil lists out some more, and he’s really fast at it, it would be kind of impressive if it wasn’t so immature, Dan thinks. After a few moments Phil goes quiet and Dan glances over at him, seeing that he’s fast asleep. His neck is going to ache when he wakes up because he seems to be using his own shoulder as a pillow.   
  
Dan tries not to stare, but it isn’t really very often that he gets this close to a cute guy, a cute guy who seems to like boys which means things are already in Dan’s favour. He thinks if he keeps on studying the little cluster of freckles on Phil’s skin, or the light stubble on his jaw, he’s going to crash and kill them both. A few miles back Dan isn’t sure if he’d have cared so much, but now Phil’s here and it probably has nothing to do with star signs and shit like that, but there is something about all of this that feels really right.   
  
**  
  
"You’re music taste is the best thing ever," Phil mumbles about an hour later. He blinks up at Dan and then screws up his face when his neck starts to twinge.   
  
"Really? My music taste is terrible."  
  
"Nah. I love it. Got any [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) songs?" Phil leans forward and starts skipping the CD, and if there’s one thing Dan can’t stand it’s people changing the tracks on his CD without asking. This mix was crafted with a lot of thought and each song is important, and Phil’s an asshole but Dan doesn’t say anything. Phil finally stops on My Chemical Romance’s cover of All I want for Christmas for you and he claps his hands together.  
  
He starts singing before Dan can ask him _please don’t_. And it’s terribly out of key and it very quickly becomes apparent that even if this is Phil’s favourite song in the world, and the original is one of the best selling [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) songs of all time, he doesn’t know any of the words.   
  
"That’s really irritating," Dan mutters, but he only half means it.   
  
Phil smiles with his tongue poking out, and Dan realises he’s being irritating on purpose and really he should pull in now and make Phil get out, because this might be worse than a serial killer, but he laughs because Phil looks so happy, and it’s kind of cute in a way.   
  
There’s a [sign](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) for a service station and Dan looks at Phil with raised eyebrows.  
  
"I really need to pee," Phil says with a nod.  
  
"Okay, we’ll stop. I need caffeine."  
  
  
  
Phil forces slightly damp notes into Dan’s hand in the queue for Mcdonalds, running away when Dan tries to throw them back.   
  
"Petrol is like really expensive, I owe you probably my life. I would have frozen and died. So take some bloody [money](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) for some chips, will you," Phil says.   
  
Dan lets out a frustrated growl, because he always feels weird taking [money](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) from people. He’s been broke as hell for so long and even just relying on his mums money makes him uncomfortable, but Phil’s not taking no for an answer. He gets chips and a coffee and Phil gets a coffee too, taking off the lid and breathing it in like he’s been caffeine deprived for forty years.  
  
"Do I want to know how you get when you’ve had coffee?" Dan asks as they sit down opposite each other. The run from Dan’s car to the warm building had been a blur, Phil had counted down from five and Dan had never ran so fast in his life. He still had snow down [the back](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) of his t shirt though and he missed his fluffy hat, which obviously like everything else he’d left at home.  
  
"I don’t change much to be honest, but if I go without it for a long time I turn into a zombie. I definitely have a caffeine dependency, not gonna lie."  
  
"Can I ask you something?" Dan looks down at his coffee, watching the steam come off the top and Phil keeps his eyes fixed on Dan.  
  
"Yeah sure."  
  
"Do your parents know - that you like boys?"  
  
Phil nods. “I told them I was bisexual when I was like sixteen I think, so they’ve had a while to get used to the idea. They’ve always been pretty okay about it though, which I know a lot of people don’t have that so I’m grateful.”  
  
"My parents kicked me out because I told them I’m gay," Dan says. He looks around, like he’s scared someone might overhear him, which is ridiculous because everyone who matters knows already now.  
  
Phil looks like _his_ heart has been stamped on, like this is effecting him, his eyes all wide and he opens his mouth a few times but then just reaches to close his hand over Dan’s. Dan flinches and almost pulls away.   
  
"I’m really sorry, that’s - God, that’s rough." Phil says. Dan bites his lip hard to stop himself from getting teary again.   
  
He nods his head. “I just - I think I hoped because it’s Christmas, they might be okay. That was stupid of me.”  
  
Phil squeezes his hand before pulling away, and Dan feels the loss of contact run all the way through him. He doesn’t like it.  
  
"The [problem](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) lies in them, that was shitty of them, like beyond shitty. You’re not the one who needs to change," Phil says. Dan shrugs and looks up at the ceiling for a moment, blinking to clear his vision.   
  
"I’m just - I was upset but now I’m fucking angry again."  
  
"Understandable. I’m - I’m really glad you picked me up, like I already said that, but I don’t think us meeting was a coincidence."  
  
"Was it fate?" Dan says with a smile, but Phil nods, his expression serious.  
  
"Definitely fate. But you don’t believe in that, so I guess we’ll have to wait and see."  
  
Dan rolls his eyes, watching Phil pull a deck of cards out of his pocket. He keeps watching as Phil shuffles them and lies them out on the table. They’re not playing cards, Dan doesn’t recognise them but he isn’t surprised when Phil tells him to pick one so he can read his future.   
  
"You’re so weird." Dan picks up a card any way, turning it over and then glancing up to see Phil’s face break into a smile.   
  
Dan wants Phil’s smile imprinted on his brain until the day he dies.   
  
"It’s the star, [Aquarius](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) is the ruling sign for the star," Phil says, still grinning.  
  
"Let me guess, you’re [Aquarius](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#)?"  
  
Phil nods. “It’s also a [sign](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) of unexpected hope though, the things you’re looking for right now might take a while to arrive, it might not get better immediately, but someones going to be there to assist you through the hard times. A glimmer of light in the darkness.”  
  
"You could be making this up," Dan points out.  
  
"You’ll have to have faith in me, Dan, I wouldn’t lie to you. Promise."  
  
"Don’t make promises."  
  
Phil’s looking at Dan too intently and Dan has to look back at his drink. “We’re gonna hit rush hour traffic if we don’t leave soon,” he says.   
  
  
  
The coffee makes Dan feel warmer, and it’s strong. His mum makes really weak, terrible coffee and as soon as Dan thinks about that he’s scowling because fuck his mums shitty coffee. He unlocks his car door and Phil waits, hopping from one foot to the other in a useless attempt to keep warm, because Dan’s car doesn’t have central locking.   
  
"Do you have a boyfriend, Dan?" Phil asks as he buckles up and Dan starts pulling out of the car park.  
  
He shakes his head. “Nope.”  
  
"Oh, that’s good."  
  
Phil’s eyes are shining when he looks at Dan, and Dan wants to kiss him. He really does, but he doesn’t know how to go about it because honestly all the kisses he’s ever had have been initiated by someone else. They’ve been strike of twelve on new year kisses, and let’s have sex because we’re eighteen and everyone else has already done it kisses.   
  
He’s also driving, and kissing Phil right now would probably result in them dying.   
  
Phil huffs out a sigh.”Can’t see [license plates](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) any more,” he mutters. “Got dark really fast.”  
  
Dan laughs. “Mine is - Phil does twelve sit ups - can I have sit ups as one word?” Phil nods, smiling at Dan.”Twelve sit ups nightly always,” Dan grins at Phil and then looks back at the road.   
  
"One hundred percent based on actual fact," Phil says.   
  
"Twelve isn’t really that much, Phil."  
  
"I can’t even do one sit up."

Dan laughs again. “Nor can I.”  
  
**  
  
"What’s you’re favourite time of the day?" Phil’s been doing this for a while now, just throwing [random](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) questions at Dan and then they both answer them, and Dan wants to keep doing this. He wants to drive right past Manchester, keep answering silly questions and giggling and having fun. He finds himself hoping for rush hour traffic, just for more time with Phil.   
  
Dan thinks for a moment. “Night - well early morning, like two in the morning. But also around four, when the suns rising and it feels calm - “  
  
"Why are you awake at four?"  
  
"I can’t sleep. Why _aren’t_ you awake at four.”  
  
"I’m a human being and not an owl."  
  
Dan shrugs, because fair enough. “What about you?”  
  
"Lunchtime, obviously. Favourite One Direction member?"  
  
Dan splutters out a laugh, shaking his head and glancing at Phil out of the corner of his eye. “I don’t have a favourite? I don’t like them.”  
  
"You’re a liar because you have two covers of One Direction songs on this mix."  
  
"They were good covers."  
  
"Of good songs."   
  
Dan can feel Phil grinning at him and he narrows his eyes, turning to glare at Phil before letting out a dramatically loud sigh. “Zayn’s my favourite. All right?”  
  
"Yeah? Zayn’s stupidly pretty, I’ll give you that one. I like Harry, although he’s a bit young for me."  
  
Dan smiles. He can see break lights ahead of them, a stream of unmoving cars. He glances at the clock on his dash and it’s nearly five, so they’ve hit the traffic. They’ve hit all the people coming home from uni or visiting relatives, and Dan tries not to smile too much about it.   
  
"Oh, looks like we hit the traffic," Phil says quietly and he really doesn’t sound like he cares either.   
  
**  
  
Phil sings too loudly and he carries [tarot cards](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) in his jeans pocket but doesn’t seem to have a working mobile phone or a wallet like normal people, and he talks crap a lot of the time, so Dan isn’t even sure what’s going on his head, but Phil’s kind of perfect He keeps making Dan laugh, and when he does he looks like he’s just aced an exam or something similar, his whole face lighting up. He reads out the meanings behind all his cards and Dan’s interested, because he might not believe in all that, but Phil makes it sound fascinating, and Dan loves listening to how passionate he is about it.   
  
"The love card," Phil says quietly, holding it up. "Is more about [choice](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) than love, it’s about I don’t know, choosing to love. Choosing to know someone I guess, to give them a chance."  
  
Dan nods but doesn’t take his eyes away from the road.   
  
"It’s strongly connected to Gemini. It’s not about romance, or passion, it’s about contact. Like meeting a stranger and feeling like you already know them."   
  
Dan glances at Phil, who’s looking at him pointedly. “Are you trying to tell me something?” Dan asks.  
  
"Nope, not at all."  
  
"I think you’re crazy. Wonderful, but totally nuts," Dan says.  
  
"Thank you. [You know](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#), if you take a left here we could take a very short detour," Phil suggests. "To Mersey Way shopping centre, because I have presents to replace, and to be honest, I want to spend more time with you."  
  
"It’ll be really busy the day before [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) eve." Dan tries to ignore the way his chest flutters at Phil’s words. He puts his indicator on and smiles when he sees Phil’s face brighten.  
  
"Well yeah, it’s a good atmosphere though."  
  
**  
  
There’s another run from car to warm building and this time Phil takes Dan’s hand in his. He doesn’t let go for a whole ten minutes, as they’re wondering through shops. Then he drops Dan’s hand when he finds something in the Disney store and Dan stares at his own hand for a second before looking up at Phil’s back.   
  
They’re playing Baby it’s cold outside in Topman and Phil feels the need to sing along to every word, trying to get Dan to join him. Dan pretends not to know the words, looking around at the other customers and smiling at Phil. He feels on top of the fucking world.  
  
In the car Dan tears off bits of sellotape for Phil to really messily wrap his new presents. Phil’s possibly the worst [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) wrapper Dan has ever seen, he keeps poking holes in the paper and ripping it, swearing under his breath as he tears it off and tries again.  
  
"Got you something while you were in the toilet," Phil says. He nods at a bag and Dan stares at it.  
  
"Phil, I can’t afford to get you anything. I just used all my [money](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) on petrol."  
  
"It’s nothing big, and I’m not expecting anything in return. Just open it."  
  
Dan picks up the bag and peers inside before pulling out the jumper and unfolding it. “Thank you,” he says quietly.   
  
"I guessed your size and - " Phil stops talking because Dan’s crying, like properly sobbing and sniffing and trying to cover his face. "Dan, love, is it really that horrible?" Phil tries to joke. Dan’s been holding back tears all day and now he can hardly breathe. Phil’s pulls him into a hug, which is slightly awkward in his [small car](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#).   
  
If Dan could even think straight he’d be so embarrassed but all he can think is how unfair everything is, how he knows he’s blamed himself for this his whole life and he’s tried everything to make his [family](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) love him, but they don’t, and he just wants to scream into his jumper on Phil’s chest.   
  
"I’m sorry," Dan says when he finds his voice.  
  
"Dan, you have had a really shit day, you’re allowed to cry about that. God, I’d have been crying for the whole journey."  
  
Dan pulls back, wiping at his eyes and clearing his throat. He winces when the cough comes out like another sob. “No ones ever just given me something. Like - without it being an obligation or having an ulterior motive.”

"You saved my life, remember?" Phil says and Dan laughs.  
  
"Someone else would have picked you up - "  
  
"But it was _you_. Shitty things had to happen to us both today for us to meet. Actions and consequences.” Phil waves his fingers. “Fate,” he says quietly and Dan just nods because maybe Phil’s right. They’ve known each other for a few hours and Dan already can’t imagine a life without Phil in it.   
  
Phil takes Dan hand, turning the palm up and Dan rolls his eyes when Phil looks at it. “Your heart line touches your life line,” Phil says. Dan looks at his palm as well, watching Phil trace over the lines until it starts to tickle and he pulls his hand away.  
  
"And?"  
  
"Your heart breaks easily," Phil says.  
  
"I better not date a guy who breaks up with people two days before [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) then," Dan says back with a smirk. Phil laughs.   
  
"I’d never break your heart, I promise."  
  
Dan shakes his head. “Stop that. You’ve promised to never lie or break my heart, and you can’t keep those promises. So don’t make them.”  
  
"You don’t have a lot of faith in anything do you?" Phil asks.  
  
"Nope."  
  
"You’re weird."

Dan smiles. “Thank you.”  
  
He pulls the jumper on, tugging the sleeves over his hands and Phil grins, obviously happy that he got the size right. “I’m really glad your boyfriend kicked you out of his car,” Dan says.   
  
Phil laughs again. “Yeah? Me too.”   
  
Phil looks at Dan a second longer than feels comfortable, and then he starts moving [forward](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) and Dan wets his lips, feeling his heart start to thud. When Phil’s lips touch Dans, it’s like everything fitting together, nothing else matters at all when Phil’s hand finds Dan’s hair and he licks over Dan’s bottom lip and into his mouth. Dan’s so overwhelmed by it, he’s slightly scared he’ll start crying again because it feels so intense.   
  
"Spend [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) with me," Phil says against Dan’s lips.  
  
"What about your family? I can’t just intrude like that."  
  
"I’ll call ahead and tell them, they’re lovely though. They’ll want you to stay, Dan."

"I’m not a fucking charity [case](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#)." Dan pulls back and sits up straight in his seat, looking ahead of him and trying to steady his breathing.  
  
"Dan, I’m going to have a crap [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) if I know you’re on your own. _Please_.”  
  
Dan shakes his head. “Don’t worry about me, Phil.” He wipes [the back](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) of his hand over his mouth and sees Phil slump down in his seat as he starts the engine.   
  
**  
  
Dan’s phone starts ringing as they pass the welcome to Manchester [sign](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#). It’s nearly seven and Phil hasn’t said a word since the shopping centre.   
  
"Fucking hell," Dan mutters. He indicates and pulls into a layby, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "Oh _shit_.”  
  
"Who is it?" Phil asks.   
  
"My mum."  
  
The phone stops ringing and Dan puts it on the dash, staring at it.   
  
"She might want to apologise - " Phil starts.   
  
"I’m in fucking Manchester, I’m not turning around now."   
  
Dan sighs when the [ringtone](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#) starts up again and he can feel Phil’s eyes on him. He curses under his breath again and picks up the phone, opening the car door and stepping out into the cold before answering it.  
  
"Dan?" his mum says. "Dan, where are you?"  
  
"Manchester."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Dan looks up at the sky, watching snowflakes swirl above him, landing in his hair and on his cheeks. His mum stays quiet for such a long time that he thinks she might have hung up.   
  
"Dan, I’m sorry for how we acted," she says finally. "Your brother has told us what we did was really terrible and I - "

"It took a teenager to tell you that what you did was wrong? You couldn’t have figured that out. I don’t know what you want me to say? Merry [Christmas](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#)? I hope you like the fucking presents I left for you."  
  
"Don’t swear, Dan."

Dan turns around and sees Phil’s watching him. “I’m glad you kicked me out, I’m glad because I’ve realised this is my life. It isn’t yours. I don’t exist to make you happy. And I love you, have a good few days.” When Dan hangs up he feels like somethings been lifted, like he can finally breathe again. There’s a slam behind him and when he turns around Phil’s standing next to him.  
  
"I think I might throw up," Dan says with a laugh.  
  
"You’re gonna be okay. "  
  
"Why? Is that what the stars are telling you?"  
  
"I’ve known you for about five hours, and I already know that you’re a really strong person, and you’re gonna be fine."  
  
Dan closes his eyes and takes a breath, feeling Phil’s hand brushing his. “Yeah, I am,” he agrees after a pause. “I’m really fucking amazing.”  
  
Phil moves to press a kiss to Dan’s cheek, and Dan smiles, tilting his head to join their lips. His eyes flicker over Phil when he pulls away, and there’s snow falling and catching on Phil’s eyelashes, but he keeps his gaze on Dan.  
  
Phil swallows and moves again, his eyes slipping shut as he reaches his hand to cup Dan’s jaw. Dan shivers, gripping at Phil’s jumper and pulling him closer. Cars are driving past them, and it’s so, so fucking cold, but Dan ignores it and hums against Phil’s lips. He feels so alive, he’s buzzing with it and when Phil pulls away he wants to chase after his mouth.  
  
"You’re gorgeous," Dan whispers. "You’re like fucking - you’re just so hot."  
  
Phil blushes and smiles shyly. “Thank you, I think you’re beautiful.”  
  
"I want - " Dan swallows and bites his lip, and he looks behind them at his stupid tiny car, and what he wants might not be physically possible.  
  
"What? What do you want?"  
  
"Contact," Dan whispers. He isn’t sure if Phil gets it, if Phil even knows he was listening earlier. But after a pause, Phil lets out a breath and nods. Dan opens the car door and pushes his chair [forward](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#), getting into the backseat and Phil follows, smiling and moving so his knees are either side of Dan’s body. It’s dark. Phil’s hair falls into his face and Dan can’t make him out until his eyes begin to adjust and he moves forward to kiss Phil, as Phil pushes his hips down into Dan’s. Dan’s hands slide down to palm Phil’s arse and pull him closer, and Phil moans into the kiss.   
  
"Surprisingly enough though, I didn’t grab lube on my way out of my house," Dan says, breaking the kiss to gasp a breath.   
  
Phil pouts. “Well, that was silly of you.”  
  
Dan rolls his eyes. “That doesn’t mean I can’t suck you off though.”  
  
He reaches to fit his hand around Phil’s cock and rub his palm over him, smiling when Phil’s breath goes a little stuttery as Dan flicks open his button. There’s not enough room at all, he has a fucking Micra and they’re both six foot, but he doesn’t care. Phil moves to sit up and Dan gets onto his knees in the small amount of room he has. He tugs on Phil jeans, and Phil lifts his hips so they can take them off and pull his boxers away too.  
  
Dan moves [forward](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/71065517568/fic-so-tell-me-when-youre-going-to-let-me-in#), licking over his lips and then flicking out his tongue over Phil and taking the head of Phil’s cock into his mouth, sucking gently. He sinks down on him, and Phil swears, his hand reaching to tangle in Dan’s hair. Dan takes him further, and then starts bobbing up and down, his eyes flickering up to see that Phil’s own eyes are squeezed shut and all Dan can hear are his pants and moans.

As Phil’s fingers tighten in Dan’s hair, Dan manages to push his hips into the seat, moaning when the tiny action makes his whole body shake. He pulls off of Phil to reach down and get his jeans open, his fingers wrapping around his own cock before he turns his attention back to Phil.  
  
"Oh fuck, Dan, I’m gonna - " Phil breathes.   
  
Dan flicks his wrist and starts to move his head and his hand faster. He feels Phil tugging on his hair to pull him away, but honestly Dan doesn’t want to get come on his car, so he reaches to bat Phil’s hand away and takes him a little deeper. He feels Phil tense and then he moans out Dan’s name, shaking all over as Dan swallows around him. Dan rides it out with Phil and then pulls away, wiping over his mouth and working his hand faster on himself.   
  
Phil grabs at Dan’s jumper and pushes it up, so when Dan’s comes, his orgasm spreading through him and making his toes curl, he doesn’t get it on his clothes. Dan breathes heavily, smiling up at Phil.  
  
"Fast thinking," he gasps, and Phil laughs, pulling his jeans and his boxers back on.  
  
"Come here."  
  
Dan gets his jeans done back up and climbs back onto Phil’s lap, kissing him again.   
  
"I think you’re wonderful," Phil says. "I really lucked out."  
  
"What do you do at Christmas? Like, what do you do in your house?" Dan whispers.  
  
"We’re all Christmas freaks. Proper all out, massive dinner, and stockings, and crappy telly. It’s awesome, and childish, and I think definitely the kind of thing you’ll pretend to hate so you seem cool."  
  
Dan smiles and nods. “Sounds awful, is the offer still open to stay with you?”  
  
Phil’s face lights up. “Yes. Thank you. I really don’t want to say goodbye.”   
  
"And I don’t live in Manchester, I live in York. I lied because I don’t have any where to go," Dan says, and Phil smiles again.   
  
"You go to York uni? Where did you stay when you were on campus?"  
  
"Halifax. Why?"  
  
"I lived in number twenty three. I carved my name behind the bed."  
  
Dan shakes his head. “You didn’t live in twenty three, my friend lived there in first year. I spent ninety percent of my time in his room studying so that would be too weird. Wait - Philip Lester?”  
  
Phil narrows his eyes and nods. “Yeah, that’s my name.”  
  
"He used to get your post. Fucking magick card newsletters and bank statements, and that’s - _holy shit_.”  
  
"Wow, that’s weird." Phil’s still smiling, and Dan can’t even find words. He just opens and closes his mouth, and _fate_. Maybe it isn’t bullshit after all.  
  
  
  
Dan doesn’t know if he believes that the stars and pictures on cards can tell the future, but when he’s holding Phil’s hand outside his parents house, which is decorated with an almost blinding amount of Christmas lights, he knows that something somewhere has definitely pulled them both together. And he knows one thing for certain, deciding to pull over and take a chance on Phil was the best decision he ever made.


End file.
